Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she smelled like a LAN party
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Randomize
