Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
