it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
