Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
