i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
