I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
