Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
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