Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize