First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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