p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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