You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
