Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
