Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
