it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Boobs are out for the taking
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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