i need an iv and a liver transplant
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
