hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
