you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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