strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
