3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
