You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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