NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
