Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
