this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this will be a night to untag.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
