apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
