so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
