he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
