didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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