Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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