I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
