They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
