I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
