Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
