he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
