Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
