I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
