This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
