You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
