Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize