For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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