Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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