I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
