I can tuck mytits in my pants
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Come share oat with me in your robe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
