Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
