I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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