We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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