I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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