I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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