can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
