What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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