Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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