I wish I could teleport
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
