Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
