Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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