I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
