This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
