you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize