Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
