what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
