he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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