so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
