What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
